I Remember.

I remember the first time we met.

I remember thinking "He's cute. I like his smile."

I remember the first time you said "Hi."

I remember smiling back to you, and that was all.

But I never thought of you more.

I never had that "what if" feeling.

I never gave you much of a thought.

I never thought I would, get this feeling.

I remember when you left.

I remember saying "Why?"

I remember how I just lost a friend.

I remember, I felt sad.

But I never thought of you more.

I never dwell on your absence.

I never felt like I was missing you.

I never felt that way, even though I thought I would miss you.

I remember when you came back.

I remember you came to drop by.

I remember that you still had the same, sweet smile.

I remember not seeing that again.

But I never thought of you more.

I never thought of you.

I never gave you much of a thought.

I never thought of you that way.

I remember when we meet again.

I remember you smiling at me.

I remember you giving me the same, sweet smile.

I remember how excited I was when I saw you.

I remember thinking "He's still cute. And I like his smile""

I remember feeling.. Happy. It's been awhile.

But I never gave you much of a thought.

I never thought of you more than that.

I never felt like I was happy because I saw you.

I never thought of it that way, but I was happy when I saw you.

I remember when you felt sad.

I remember comforting you.

I remember how you felt touched.

I remember genuinely being there for you.

But I never gave you much of a thought.

I never thought of you more than a friend.

I never thought you were about to change that.

I never thought about it, at all.

I remember when you tried to be friendly.

I remember you were being sincere.

I remember you suddenly being flirty with me.

I remember how I blushed, and giggled softly.

I remember thinking "I see where this is going."

I remember figuring out what was going on.

But I still never gave you much of a thought.

I still never thought you would be what you are to me.

I still never thought you would be the one to approach me.

I still never thought, you would do that to me.

I never thought you would even consider me.

I never thought you see me differently.

I never thought you would say "I like you."

I never thought about it, that much.

I remember you getting closer to me.

I remember we exchanged numbers on FB.

I remember when you said "It's never too late."

I remember you feeling thrilled, and excited to see me.

But I never thought that this was happening to me.

I never saw it coming.

I never saw this happening.

I never knew you would do what you did.

I never knew you would be so sweet.

I never knew you would be so kind.

I never knew you could make me smile.

I never knew that this, was happening to me.

I remember the first time we went on a date.

I remember when you saw me walking towards you.

I remember the first time you smiled the moment I saw you.

I remember thinking "God, that smile."

I remember the first time you looked at me.

I remember that look in your eyes.

I remember the first time you asked "How are you?"

I remember feeling nervous before I met you.

But I never knew this was going to happen to me.

I never knew I would even be where I was.

I never knew I would feel comfortable with you.

I never knew how easy it was being with you.

I never knew you could make me smile so quickly.

I never knew you could make me laugh so easily.

I never knew you could walk with me side by side.

I never knew. I honestly, never knew this could happen to me.

I remember feeling nervous the entire day.

I remember thinking "Oh My God, I'm so nervous! Why am I nervous?"

I remember sitting in class, thinking about that night.

I remember feeling nervous to meet you again that night.

I remember wondering what was that feeling.

I remember smiling the whole day, on  my way home.

I remember getting ready, but was already ready.

I remember lying down, waiting for you to arrive.

But I never knew this was going to happen to me.

I never knew you would be able to make me happy.

I never knew you could make me feel special.

I never knew you could make me feel loved.

I never knew you could make me feel cheerful.

I never knew you could bring out the fun side of me.

I never knew you could make that happen so easily.

I never knew. I honestly, never knew this could happen to me.

I remember the first time you call me "Bella."

I remember thinking, "Wow. Now I'm his Bella."

I remember the first time you call me Sayang.

I remember thinking, "Okay. Now I'm his Sayang."

I remember the first time you heard me cry.

I remember how you called, and said "It's okay, Sayang."

I remember the first time you cheered me up.

I remember when you said, "I'm glad you're happy, Sayang."

I never knew I could be His Bella.

I never knew I could be His Sayang.

I never knew I could be anyone's Sayang.

I never knew I could be that special to someone.

I never knew I could be that special, to him.

I never knew how much I meant to him.

I never knew how much he meant to me.

I never knew. God, I wish I never knew.

I remember the first time you said

"If I have the chance, to accompany you for a lifetime..

 Will you accept me wholeheartedly?"

I remember the first time you said,

"I think I'm falling for you"

I remember when you said,

"I don't know, but I think I'm falling for you."

I remember the first time you said 

"I think I'm in love with you."

I remember when you said

"Yes. Yes, I'm in love with you.

I remember the first time you said 

"I love you."

I remember when you said,

"I haven't told you this in a while..

I remember the first time you said,

 "I love you sooooooooooo much, Adila."

I remember.

I remember everything.

I remember when I used to be your everything.

I remember when I used to be the one for you.

I remember when you told me that I was the one for you.

I remember thinking, and feeling, maybe I was, the one for you.

I remember feeling appreciated.

I remember feeling beautiful.

I remember feeling loved, cherished, and treasured.

I remembered, falling for your charms.

But I never knew you would hurt me.

I never knew you would ever, ever hurt me.

I never knew you would make me cry.

I never knew you could, ever make me cry.

I never knew you would hurt me this badly.

I never knew you would do that to me.

I never knew you would ever treat me that way.

I never knew. God, I wish I never knew.

I remember when you said

"I want to be with you."

I remember when you said

"You're my Bella."

I remember when you said

"Just love me, Adila. Is that too much to ask?"

I remember when you said

"I wanted you so badly."

I remember when you said

"I won't bother you anymore."

I remember when you said

"I'm addicted to you.

I remember when you said

"You hurt me. But I keep coming back to you."

I remember when you said

"I'm sorry. I will never leave you again. You got me."

I remember when you said

"If I get the chance to marry you, I promise that I will take good care of you."

I remember when you said

"I put you as my priority. You are my priority."

I remember when you said 

"I wish you could be my wife, mother to my child."

I remember when you said

"You mean everything to me."

I remember when you said these words..

And I remember falling for you, every time..

I remember falling.. and falling.. and falling..

and hit the ground.

Now I'm lying on the cold, hard ground.

Now I'm singing Taylor Swift.

I can imagine you saying "You Belong With Me."

But I'm Sorry.

We Are Never Ever Ever gonna get Together.

And I don't ever want to go Back to December.

You seemed so Innocent. and I was wrong.

I can't believe that I Fall For You.

When You Look Me in the Eyes,

it's as if you're thinking "She's Mine."

I don't know about you, I'm about to be 22.

and this? is not the Love Story, that I thought it would be.

For a moment, just for a moment..

I thought I was falling in love.

For a moment, just for a moment..

I thought I was falling in love with you.

Just give me a reason, and I would have hated you for life.

Just like a fool, I hated myself for loving you.

For a moment, just for a moment.

I thought I loved you.

For a moment, just for a moment,

I thought you loved me too.

I remember. I will always remember you.

I no longer have feelings for you.

I no longer love you, nor hate you.

I no longer see you as a friend.

I no longer see you as anything.

I only see you as a human being.

I always thought that, after everything.

You would still mean something to me.

Because at one time, you meant something to me.

Because at one time, I didn't want to loose you.

Because at one time, even if things didn't work out between us,

I still don't want to loose you.

I still want you in my life.

Because you were the most, insanely caring person..

that i have ever met.

You were the one who was there for me.

You were the one who always made me smile.

You were the one who made me laugh when i was sad.

You were the one who smiled when you see me.

You were the one who see me for who I am.

You were the one who would run and rescue me.

You were the one who taught me how it feels to be loved.

I remember.

I remember, and I will always remember.

The memories we had with each other.

I can't deny how much I miss those moments.

But I admit that I do not miss you.

I used to really, really hate you.

After what you did to me.

How you made me feel, how guilty you made me feel.

You made me feel like I'm such a horrible person.

You made me cry at night. I thought you would never made me cry..

I thought you would never hurt me. But you did.

And I do not deserve to be treated that way.

You had no right to treat me that way.

I hated you. I hated you so much I wish you would fall of a cliff and hit the ground.

So you would feel how I felt. You only saw your pain.

But you never saw mine. You were blind.

You were blind, and you chose to be blind.

You know you're being a fool

Yet you kept yourself being a fool.

But then again, I have to thank you.

For each smile, each laugh, each happy moment,

each pain, each tear, each moment I had with you.

Thank you. You gave me, an experience.

A once beautiful, but painful experience,

that made me realized, how grateful I am.

I have given myself a chance with you.

And now you no longer have that chance.

You missed your chance.

And I got away.

You told me once, that you don't want to loose me.

Because you said, if you lose me, it's not easy to find someone like me.

You said, I understood you, I could relate to you.

We both went through, a similar experience, that some people never went through.

And you told me how hard it was to find another girl like me.

And you don't ever, want to lose me.

I'm sorry.

Ultimately, I do not hate you anymore.

Time has passed, and I have recovered from my hatred towards you.

I no longer hate you. I no longer care for you like how I once did.

Remember when you said I cared for you when no one else did?

Remember when you said you never want to lose me?

Remember when you wanted to be with me because I understood what you were going through?

Remember when you said you will never find someone like me?

Remember how you use to call me your Bella?

Remember when you use to call me Sayang?

Remember when you said you wanted to marry me one day?

Remember when you said all those things to me?

It has no effect on me anymore.

I was sincere, I was genuine, I was honest to you.

Each moment I cared for you, I really cared for you.

I meant every word I said to you.

Because at that time, you were my Jacob.

You were my Jacob.

And now, that means nothing to me.