let me go please... i can't stand ur grip.. ur too strong for me to handle..~



@1.29am: MCM BENGANG..
@1.40am: mcm nk nangis..



suddenly feel like crying i dunno y..
having dat stupid sinking feeling again in my chest..
learning to let go isnt' always easy..
especially when u dun even know wat ur holding on..
maybe its d past, maybe it's d present itself..
maybe u keep wishing to turn back time..
or maybe u wish things wud just b how it is now..
maybe its juz d constant worry of wat wud happen in d future..
or even more possible it's d fact,
dat ur thinking too much of all of it together..~

@1.48 the sinking feeling getting stronger..
now i'm feeling uneasy..
why oh why does such feelings exist..
why oh why do i have to suffer like dis..
n why OH why AM I LIKE DIS IN D FIRST PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!

THAT'S IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!
DO I HAVE SOME KIND OF MENTAL DISEASE THAT I WAS NEVER AWARE OF
FOR THE PAST NINETEEN YEARS OF MY LIFE? ? ? ? ?
OR IS IT WHAT PEOPLE CALL PRESSURE AND STREES OUT OF NOTHING AT ALL?
OR IS IT SOME STUPID STATE OF MIND TRAPPED IN D PAST???

or then again.. is it just me?
is it juz my mind swirling with confusing tots n blurry images??
why am i feeling so down all of d sudden?
why do i feel like a total stranger is writing all of dis when i read back wat i wrote?
why do i suddenly have so many personal questions to ask myself?
why dun i have d answer to all dis questions?
maybe.. juz maybe..

all of these aren't question at all..
maybe my ultra ego is juz playing with my mind n feelings..
maybe it's my subconscious way of telling myself..
THAT I NEED TO GET A GRIP
N NOT THINK OF ALL OF DIS AS SUCH A BIG DEAL...

but then again..
maybe i'm right..
maybe i do need help..
maybe dat's wat i need..
maybe... it's time..~

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